MWE Correspondent
Raising children far from home is forcing many parents to rethink ideas they once considered unquestionable. For Tanzanian parents living in the diaspora, particularly in Western countries, parenting has become a delicate balancing act between deeply rooted cultural values and unfamiliar social expectations.
In Tanzania, parental authority was rarely challenged. A parent’s word was final, and obedience was instilled early in life. Respect for elders was not negotiated, and discipline was firm. For many adults, childhood memories are shaped by the sound of a father’s voice bringing instant silence, a moment that blended fear, respect and love. These experiences created a lasting belief that strict authority defined proper parenting.
Life abroad presents a sharp contrast. In many Western societies, children are encouraged to express themselves, ask questions and take part in decision-making. Schools and social systems promote modern ideas of parenting that emphasise communication, emotional awareness and individual expression. For parents raised in cultures where questioning authority was viewed as disrespectful, this shift can be deeply unsettling.
For many, a child simply asking “why” can be emotionally exhausting. What may be innocent curiosity often feels like defiance. Parents struggle with fears of losing control, respect or cultural identity, while also facing pressure to conform to social expectations in their host countries, where parenting practices are closely observed and sometimes judged.
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These tensions are explored in Mental Health and Parenting in Diaspora, a new book by Deborah Mwangomo, a licensed professional counsellor and member of the Tanzanian diaspora living in Texas, United States. The book, now available in both English and Kiswahili, addresses issues of mental health that remain largely taboo in many African households.
Drawing from personal experience and professional practice, Mwangomo highlights the silent struggles parents face after migration. She explains how cultural displacement, unspoken stress and fear of community judgment often leave families without support. Over time, this silence can contribute to anxiety, emotional exhaustion and strained relationships between parents and children.
The book calls for open conversations, urging parents to understand that adapting does not mean abandoning cultural values. Instead, it encourages blending respect, discipline and responsibility with empathy and communication suited to life in the diaspora.
As African communities abroad continue to grow, experts say these discussions are no longer optional. Addressing mental well-being and evolving parenting approaches is increasingly seen as essential to building stronger families. For many parents, the journey is not just about raising children, but about redefining authority, connection and love in a changing world.
